Faith, Trust, and Humanity

I’m twenty-six years old. At my age, many of my friends are married, have a kid or two, a full-time job, mortgage – all that jazz. For whatever reason, that hasn’t been in the cards for me. I would like it to be – it would give my life meaning to have someone to share it with, to have tiny versions of myself to raise in my image. Maybe someday. But for now, I just have myself. And because I have no children, I’m treated like one. Because I haven’t a wife or serious girlfriend, I have nowhere to direct my devotion. So for now, I have to find my own kind of meaning. I’ll just have to sit here and nod my head to those who want me to stay safe. I’m prepared to listen, but I’m not about to be lectured. I want to be the one lecturing. I want to say, “Don’t be afraid of life.” I could tell you, “Don’t get in a car – you’ll crash and die, don’t go to the bar – you’ll be raped, don’t go fishing – you’ll drown, don’t go to college – it’s a waste of money, don’t fall in love – your heart will break…” But I think you all know better, right?

To address James’ question: I’m sure people go missing in these scenarios from time to time. I’m going to take my chances just like any other day. I see society continually stretching farther beyond its natural order (technology, chemistry, medication, gadgets, government), which ultimately is distancing us from our humanity. We’re losing touch with ourselves by degrees. There’s a definite “wheel out of kilter” here, if you’ve taken the time to see it.

Still, although there's no way to reverse that process, I think we need to learn to get back to some of the basics - especially with a possible depression bearing down. We can’t keep up the frills while the economy’s going under. But we can’t do everything. We can’t abandon every crutch we’ve adapted. That’s why I’m not going to drop off the grid without a map or phone or watch – I’m not going to be Christopher McCandless from “Into the Wild.” He missed his mark – he abandoned humanity. I aim to embrace it.

I don’t expect some people to accept this. I hope that they get it, but I can’t count on it. This is for me – I’ve wanted to do something like this all my life, and I’ve denied it to appease others. I can’t keep it up forever. So if I go out there and don’t return, everyone opposed to this from the beginning can feel free to lose faith in the probabilities of trust with humankind. I’ve spent a lot of time without faith in humanity myself – I hated pretty much everyone for various issues of immorality. But that’s no way to live. It’s a waste.

Still not convinced? If so, that’s fine. I’m just asking for a little trust here. I’m twenty-six years old and I haven’t accomplished anything. Life has been a complete joke that I’ve coasted through just so I wouldn’t have to be hassled about what I’m “doing with my life.” This isn’t a desperate reach for meaning – it’s a conscious, honest quest for life. I feel more optimistic about this than anything I’ve ever wanted to do for myself. These last few weeks, as my plans have begun to materialize, I’ve been at the top of the world. So you can worry, you can pray, you can lose sleep – just please, try to live by quality, not quantity.

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one